Expendables 2 KICKASS REVIEW

27 Aug

What I like about the Expendables 2:

1. I LOVE  the old 80s/90s action movies ,so seeing Van Damme, Willis, Schwarzenneger, Lundgren, Li, Stallone together in one movie is like a fan girl wet dream for me.

2. Chuck Norris’ X ray machine kill scene = EPIC

3. The hot sniper. Sexy sniper in every action movie turns me on so much.

4. Blood splattering, head decapitating moment. Explosion. Your brain won’t be able to take in all that awesomeness fast enough.  By the time you’ll realize that this is probably the greatest thing you’ve ever seen – it will be over!

5. Arnold is finally back.

6.  Chuck Norris doing a Chuck Norris joke =Epic

7. Action packed. Guns! My favorite gun everywhere!

8. Liam hemsworth = sex

9.  Van Damme is extremely good in being a villain.

What I don’t like about the expendables:

1. Did I just fucking witness a rip off from The Loser movie, where Chris Evans was pretending his finger as a gun, and came the sniper as rescue?

And Stallone just did it too in Expendables? Unoriginal idea is unoriginal.

2. Wait what? Jet Li screen time is like, 2 second. Expectation : 0   Reality: 1

All the old action legends did were walk-in roles. They were not crucial to the story whatsoever. It was basically, “Hey, let’s gather all of them together, give them a gun like the old days, and let them spew old references to bring in their former glory days. The end. Thanks for buying a ticket!”

3.  Overdid it with lines/ jokes from previous films, But Chuck Norris doing it is priceless.

4. Hemsworth dies. Just a plot device. What a bummer.

5. Hello Miss Asian Sour Face!

What’s up with her lips? It looks like it just got beaten up by a bunch of sting rays or bee.

Not badass enough. NEXT!

Overall, I still like this movie.  I still enjoy it. I want action packed movie? I got an action packed movie. Money well paid. Job well done. Ass well kicked.

People who complained so much about this movie, need to sit the fuck up, zip their mouth, take off their retainers, relax their stiff joint and enjoy life for a little bit.

By the way, this post is so full of spoilers. Who the fuck cares. I’m not gonna put the SPOILER ALERT shit at the beginning of my post. You can sense spoilers just from reading the title. If you continue to read  the post after reading the title, and you haven’t watch the movie, well tough luck boys, tighten your vagina and shut the fuck up.

The end.

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